Open Adoption

What is Open Adoption?

Open adoption is one of the many options available to you if you looking to place your child for adoption. Open adoption is a rather recent development. Adoptions in the past were almost always completely “closed” in that you would never see or have any contact with the prospective adoptive family after you placed the child for adoption. Today, open adoption is much more common as studies and common sense indicate that open adoption is beneficial to the child so the child has more of a sense of where he/she came from and can get various questions answered rather than being left to wonder. There are numerous questions to ask yourself when deciding if an open adoption is best for you.

• Can you be honest about the adoption?
• Can you put the child's best interest before your own?
• Can you respect all members involved in the open adoption?
• Can you respect all decisions made by the adoptive family without interfering?
• Are you willing to share the love of a child?

If you can answer each of these questions positively then an open adoption may be right for you. I believe that this type of adoption is generally the best option for everyone involved in the adoption triad (adoptive family, adopted child and parents). Through open adoption, the child is the center focus of the relationship. The process begins with the parents and the prospective adoptive family having a trusting relationship where information is exchanged and a relationship is developed from the beginning of the placement and continues throughout the life of the child. This is a unique partnership where everyone is connected through respect for one another and love for the child. Each individual has a unique role in the child's life that develops over time. Ongoing contact allows the parents who placed the child for adoption to see that the child is doing well, is healthy, and happy. This knowledge offers them peace of mind in their decision.

Interchanges between the parties allow the child to have direct access to the information they may desire as well as support from the birth family. This allows for healthy development of the child's identity and self-esteem. Research of open adoption information has shown that children raised in open adoptions have better overall adjustment and higher self-esteem than those raised in closed adoptions. Studies also show that children of open adoptions are reported to have fewer behavioral problems than children of closed adoptions. A national study found that a benefit of open adoption verses closed is that the adopted children have access to the information that they may want as they grow especially during adolescence.

Generally, when an adoptive family is educated about what open adoption means and how it can benefit the child, they are open to the relationship. Some families who do not understand the meaning of open adoption report fears about having the birth parents as a part of their lives.

I try to educate both the prospective adoptive family and parents by providing open adoption information and facts about what options they have so everyone involved can feel comfortable. In most cases in my experience, after a prospective adoptive family interacts with a parent, they soon realize that their fears were unwarranted and actually have a higher level of satisfaction with their adoption.

As adoptive parents you are a part of who your child is, and will become. Open adoption allows you to know your child better by knowing his or her birth family.

Another common feeling that new adoptive parents state prior to learning more about open adoption is that they are fearful that the parents will change her mind and try to come back for the baby in the future. My experience has been that in open adoptions, birth parents are happy with their decision for placement because they can see that the child is happy and being well cared for in the adoptive home.

Open adoption is a life long process that grows and changes over time. Some adoptive families may initially fear that there will be no boundaries in the relationship and that the parents will try to take on the parenting role. I try to help the adoptive family and birthparents implement an agreement about what everyone is comfortable with prior to the child's placement that recognizes what everyone's roles will be in the child's life. This individualized plan also will offer adoption information and guidelines on the number of on-going visits as well as how often letters, pictures, emails, phone calls, etc, are to occur. Parents put a great deal of thought and planning into identifying a prospective adoptive family for their child and do not want to do anything to upset the plan that they have set for the child's life.